Paul Janisch

Cyril - dankie vir fokol. Less than fokol

This is a repost from 2010 (yes the blog is that old - actually it's older than that)

Cyril has in effect given us fokol.  Those of us who have more than fokol can be grateful.  Most South Africans have less than fokol and Cyril has taken that away too.

When we are allowed to buy wine I will make a few cases of this.  It will cost the user more than fokol to purchse.

Dankie vir fokol Cyril. 

A while ago I came across a red wine called Fókól.    (ten years ago)  The thing I love about the wine is that there is no English on the bottle at all - everything is in Afrikaans.  It's certainly not drinking wine but it goes down a storm.

The label on the back has the following words of wisdom.

Vir jare al is ons vriendskap Fókól werd. Deur dik en dun het jy my met Fókól bygestaan, gehelp met Fókól, en oor Fókól gepraat, daarom kon ons Fókól bereik. Omdat jy met Fókól tevrede is, het jy my ook geleer om van Fókól te leef, op Fókól te hoop in Fókól te glo en Fókól te verwag of te vertrou. Nou besit jy ook Fókól, kan jy ook Fókól bekostig, sien jy ook uit na Fókól, en leef jy van en vir Fókól. Ek bekommer my oor Fókól. omdat ek weet dat die dag van more vir jou Fókól in die sak gaan bring, en daarom is ek aan jou Fókól verskuldig. Baie dankie vir Fókól. 1998 ©

Chin up

F’N Bollocks – FNB, FICA and ruining a 6 year old’s banking experience

There comes a time in many a young man's life when they accompany their father to their local bank and open an account. The joy of this thing called the internet is that the account had already been opened, it was just a matter of getting the card – that thing that allows the 6 year old to have a connection with the money in his bank account. In order to get this card you need to demonstrate proof of residence. The easiest way to do this is to present a rates bill that comes to your house. But not all of us have any of our bills or post sent to our home address, in fact we don't even have a postbox on our wall. I explained this to the lady on the phone when I opened the bank account. She advised me to go off to the police station and get a document that is signed by the police confirming my physical address. I did this and Oliver and I went off to the Rosebank branch of FNB to collect his bank card. The first queue we stood in was called "CARD COLLECTIONS". We waited in that one for five minutes and were told that this was the WRONG QUEUE. No problem, we went and sat on that tatty furniture in the banking hall and waited another 20 minutes. The lady was very friendly and brought out the card and the pin document. Oliver was very impressed with the card and how the light reflects off it. She then disappears for about 15 minutes and comes back and tells me that they can't accept the police document. At this point I was very pissed off and used language my old Sgt Major would have been very impressed with. I insisted that I speak to her supervisor who arrived and told me the same story – again in a very friendly manner. I stormed out without a bank card and a distraught 6 year old. Before I left they gave me proforma document that I could use.

Let's cut to the chase here. This was an incredibly humiliating experience for me and my child. Instead of introducing him to the world of saving and money we were sent packing because their own systems gave me the wrong information. Right FNB this is what I think

1. I have been a customer at that branch for close to 30 years – I'm not a fly by night
2. If you have issues with people who don't receive bills at their residential address then either put the proforma document on the website – or if you have refer me to it; or email the document to me
3. Don't humiliate a loyal customer in front of his child
4. Don't advertise that it's easy to do business with you when it isn't. It was very easy to open the account and put money in it, but to get a bank card out of you is impossible.
5. Reimburse me the R8 that it costs me to park there every time I have to come in and be sent back – because I need to go back again with the right document and hope to hell that it actually is acceptable.

However – if you value me as a customer who has been with you for thirty years or so, why don't you send the CEO of FNB Banking or the Rosebank branch manager down to my house, which is five minutes away from your offices, along with a commissioner of oaths who can make me swear on Peter Green's grave that I live where I do and then deliver the card. I promise I will not charge you for the parking.

I do know that you've got me over a barrel here – all the banks are the same. So I'm not going to move my accounts, but I will be sure to pepper @Rbjacobs with my comments.

A very unpleasant experience

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Dankie vir Fokol or should that be Fókól

A while ago I came across a red wine called Fókól.    This wine has become my calling card - I first test drove it at  the ATKV a year ago.  I was recently there and I see my good friend Schalk Cilliers still has his bottle.  The think I love about the wine is that there is no english on the bottle at all - everything is in Afrikaans.  It's certainly not drinking wine but it goes down a storm.

The label on the back has the following words of wisdom.

Vir jare al is ons vriendskap Fókól werd. Deur dik en dun het jy my met Fókól bygestaan, gehelp met Fókól, en oor Fókól gepraat, daarom kon ons Fókól bereik. Omdat jy met Fókól tevrede is, het jy my ook geleer om van Fókól te leef, op Fókól te hoop in Fókól te glo en Fókól te verwag of te vertrou. Nou besit jy ook Fókól, kan jy ook Fókól bekostig, sien jy ook uit na Fókól, en leef jy van en vir Fókól. Ek bekommer my oor Fókól. omdat ek weet dat die dag van more vir jou Fókól in die sak gaan bring, en daarom is ek aan jou Fókól verskuldig. Baie dankie vir Fókól. 1998 ©

Thanks to Ostendo for transcribing these kind words.

And if you want me to do some work for you I'll throw in a bottle.